My brownies, ice cream, and Reese’s all disagree!

A few things:

Two times this month I have been approached by two different younger women, I thought they wanted me to buy them drugs, they were speaking softly, it was just Mary Kay.

Using the Disney font is cringeworthy enough in both concept and execution, but I’d demand a refund for that “R”. Yeesh.

The font brings it all together.

I like to imagine he just has the one front tooth, from that image. I imagine that is not true, but I like to think it, just for laffs.

Yup. “Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother” is the perfect descriptor of his guy.

Yeah, that kind of BS is why I didn’t tell my first that he was my first.

YES. This is how I picture every person’s face while reading:

UGGGGHHH NO SEX AGAIN EVER THANKS MADELINE

This entire post made me never want to have sex again. THANKS, MADELEINE.

The Tenderman is also so many lesbians I’ve known.

Lovers...

But can he see the butthole?

Seconded. HIMYM was decent fluff TV but I found nearly any scene with him (especially the romantic ones) nearly unwatchable because of his creepiness...

The Tenderman posts on Jezebel using his real name.

Ted Mosby is basically history’s greatest monster. He and JD from Scrubs enabled an army of awful people

Tender sex as a MO gets on my last nerve. It’s ok sometimes, but other times you might want to get a little boisterous. Rough even. And when you growl, “Spank me,” and your tender lover goes wide-eyed and whispers, “I could never cause you pain,” that’s when you know this just isn’t going to work.

Aren’t you annoyed that Michael McKean keeps getting snubbed? I sure am.