Seriously. When does it end?! I’m 448 months old!

Ok so I’m going to out myself here as someone who finds him genuinely attractive. Of course, I’m into doofus-y looking dudes. I like his cheeks especially. And in interviews, when he laughs, it’s so joyous and carefree and attractive. .... To each their own, I suppose. There’s a lid for every pot, and all that.

Omg “summer teeth” I’ve never heard that before and now I’m cackling

Holy crap! Coatcheck Girl is Brie Larson?!?!

Yeah it’s JUST enhanced interrogation, geeez, get over it guys!

And in those privatized prisons they think are so great

Nah, I agree. But I do love the phrase “tit chandelier.”

😘

I still can’t stop being severely distracted by Charlize’s ill-advised pony tail. It hurts my eyes.

My first car’s name was Bradley. It was the 90s and I was really into Sublime.

Whatthewhat? What the hell did I vote in then?!?!

Saw the tallies this morning. She was 50% to his 30%. So. Kinda like the real world. Thanks, Time, for being so on the nose!

Yup. This is pretty typical in child custody cases with us here “normals,” if not for celebrities. Kinda refreshing to see them being “normal” for once

Omg I just came back to read this again and I’m crying bc I’m STILL laughing so hard. It’s already perfection, but when you get to the title... I can hardly catch my breath. I’m sharing this with everyone I know. I need you to know I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Thank you.

This is one of the most perfect, beautiful things I have ever read.

A million stars for you! And get out of my brain!

This is fucking brilliant!

Oh no, my hope isn’t even stupid enough to have Hillary as president. My hope is just to stop Trump. Oooo boy, what I wouldn’t give for a little Mitt Romney at this point!

The hope this is giving me is dangerous. Dangerous. I don’t think my heart can take any more of any of this.

Yes! My closest TacoBell burned down and I was like, “shit, we’re really living in Trump’s America now, aren’t we?” It’s the new “thanks Obama.” But, like, actual shitiness