How fascinating that being your kid’s best friend is the reason Katie Holmes is a 5/5 mom and Jada Pinkett Smith is a 1/5 mom. I wonder what on earth the difference between these two women could possibly be to provoke such disparate reactions to the same information. Hmmm.

I would call it more of a red flag with a blue X and white stars down the X, but let’s not get caught up in the minor details.

Apparently they tried to get preggo via the old in-n-out, but that wasn’t working so they tried IVF. After seven months, presto! Amal’s got somethin’ growing inside her, and I’m not talking about regret

OK, but how many years has it been since Nick Denton has seen Suri?

This is kind of how I feel about it. Like, I think it’s pretty goddamn silly for people to be like “okay but seriously I’m a real witch” BUT his point of - okay, these are meant for religious usage and are not TOYS so please don’t come in here expecting me to sell you one because one time you watched Harry Potter -…

I get what he’s saying. The Potter fans may not take it seriously, a lot of them are just after a wand to be part of the fandom. He’s making wands for people who actually believe in that, not just because of a movie/book.

It's hard for Trump to have a firm grasp on anything, given the size of his fingers.

It actually wasn’t them in the car at all. It was Billy Zane and his henchman.

Oh u didn’t know.. Not only are black ppl lazy but they are simultaneously responsible for all the bad shit that happens. It's the most fucked up magic trick

Between destroying America, taking away people's guns and being a kenyan citizen, when did Obama find the time to be the founder of ISIS? Does he have a time turner like Hermione?

WAAAAAAAH!!!! LESLIE JONES IS RUINING MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF THE MONTREAL OLYMPICS!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I love Leslie Jones. But you could not pay me enough money to go to this year’s Olympics.

Yeah, that’s the thing needing prioritizing here.

Correction: "Roger sounds like an unemployed whiny, overstepping bitch"

Maybe the attendant would be less uncomfortable if the women had been really easily identifiable. On a government registry or something-and you knew they were registered because they wore like-I don’t know-a patch! Like a moon and star or that seems complicated! Just a star? And that way they’d know these are “good”…

Roger sounds like a whiny, overstepping bitch.

Seems to me they euthanized the wrong goddamn animal >:(

You could also use it as a weird cult identifier, like "young Jenny was cast from the fold when she appeared with a clam brand instead of the socially acceptable hot dog, it was clear she had been fraternizing with OTHERS"

A Towel of Karen's Own.

So it’s knockoff Monopoly tokens with holes dremeled through them and then stuck on unbent paper clips.