“Unless....gasp! My luggage!”

Really, honestly, truly...poor, little rich girl.

Bobby, have you seen the followup video? Where the headless girl gets a doll?

I got a minute and seven seconds in and that’s all I could handle. Thanks. Now I’ma hafta subscribe to Donald Trump’s emails to re-freeze my heart.

A one Wuman show, if you will.

Will Eddie Murphy still be Mushu

The people have chosen Emma Stone.

And I looked and beheld a pale man, with skin like the belly of a slug. In his right hand he held a machete, and in his left hand he held the decapitated head of a cheetah from a game reserve in Africa. And lo, his name was Eric.

Christ guys, are you trying to hand West Virginia and Arkansas to Trump!?

Oh YEAH? I heard that Hillary FORCED Chelsea to suck on her breasts for YEARS.

Look, how else is a man supposed to compliment his daughter when the only compliments he knows how to give any woman are that he finds her attractive enough to have sex with?

Trump is going to skip the next debate and instead host a pay-per-view where he will literally make out with his daughter.

Who drew the short straw and had to spend the evening in that sewer to capture the screenshots?

I loooooooove the suggestion that one guy makes about Lester Holt sending Hillary the questions. She was so prepared that she had to have been given them, right? No way she could actually be that studious, that polished, that prepared.

*sniff*

Note to boy celebs:

I searched “below average” and got a nice selfie.

You know...

I’ll bet he made her dress up like Val Kilmer and play volleyball with him and that’s the only way he could maintain an erection.

“He wears those douchey Ed Hardy shirts. If he wants to see us, he needs to stop wearing that shit.” - Mady and Cara