Those things are creepy and not in a fun way.

Why do you have to be so sex-negative? Why kink-shame people this way?

I matched with RiFF RAFF on Tinder this weekend. When I messaged him, he unmatched me. I am not sad about this.

Yom Kippur-Coachella. Think about it. We could make a killing.

Even better...Ramadan Bonnaroo. We could call it....Ramadannaroo.

I automatically hate anyone that says “Don’t Hate me” or “Don’t Hate Me but...”

Worst of all? This was the text:

Text message: the new Post-It?

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Yes, it’s a halloween costume. “Lactose intolerance.”

Chickenfreude?

Mother, May I Trick with Strangers?

That’s what the police want to know.

This is a hard one. All it led me to was wishing he would date Exene Cervenka so they could be “ExPatts”

Kegels? Strapping a kettle bell to it?

DYING DYING DYING @ “I mean, i am in florida!”

Did she start by wearing less and going out more?

See, Reddit can’t be racist, It’s totally dating a black woman!