If we tried the same, the Republican Party would all vanish behind bars.

That's very easy to imagine. Give me an imagination challenge next time.

My employees are all gay men. .

1940’s porn titles:

Rosie the Rivet-her
Pearl Harder
D-Day

Add your own, so I don’t feel like a monster!

If Azealia Banks said nothing ever again I don't think anyone would have a problem with that.

I think the “one pass wow” is a reasonable standard for makeup, period. I don’t want to be layering the crap out of my makeup just to get it to show up.

“Can I buy that lipstick?” “Sure, I’ll put it on your bill”

I feel really sad that … someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece of paper.

put the lyin’ in the coconut and stir it all up.

You can push him down a flight of stairs while I attack him with a wire hanger.

You’re telling me that ladies are having abortions - a not fun medical procedure - just to benefit mankind through medical research? Fuck, we are a generous lot, aren't we?

can we Abort Rubio?

Honestly. Here, all along, I’ve been popping out babies for my career as a welfare queen . Had I known I could have been aborting them rather than going through with the whole 40-week pregnancy, I’d have been turning a profit that much more quickly! Man, it’s the American Dream for real!

Damn, me too. I’m now so envious of all those abortion millionaires.

Man, I’m in the wrong industry! I could’ve just laid back and watched the checks roll in if I had set up my fetus mill. BTW, would it be inappropriate to call my uterus a fetus mill?

Part of the reason for there being so much crazy over this one incident may be due to the police saying it might be a bomb doing absolutely nothing that would back up their initial explanations for why they singled this kid out for harassment and violation of his constitutional rights. The story has now gone to “oh,…

Talk about the dangers of a reactionary-slash-biased media! The first reports on this potential bomb-imitator were so fishy to begin with.

Richard Dawkins just called a 14-year-old boy a fraud and said he wanted to be arrested. Calling that a bit over the top is like calling tuberculosis a chest cold.

Richard Dawkins has done a great job of proving that just because you don’t believe in a deity doesn’t mean you can’t be an obnoxious bigoted asshole.