ooH, GURL! No Way! You know that drunk ass mess is a sloppy bottom.

“Yes, my body language here suggests that I’m not entirely comfortable with my Nana groping my mother in a faux suggestive manner.”

I’m so confused. Has Scott Disick slept with Brad Pitt yet? Is he up to Brad’s snuff?

I’m dying at my desk.

R&R from doing what, exactly?

When your bill is too bigoted to pass the Louisiana House of Representatives you need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Come on now! We have to be more respectful of a woman who is obviously having a stroke!

the Kardashian-Jenner family is in the midst of a powwow to ensure the transition is handled sensitively

Guys this is my happy face.

2/10

And yet, Zach Braff still walks the streets. . .

I think our next behind closed ovens should feature commenters not getting super obvious jokes.

So, this isn't about a stupid customer. It is, however, about one of the evilest, vilest, despicable human beings I have ever had the displeasure to have to deal with on the job. First, some backstory: I spent roughly twelve miserable years working for Fazoli's. Now, for those of you who have never visited a Fazoli's…

Well maybe where that guy came from they’d paved paradise and put up parking lots, so he doesn’t know the difference.

How big would the sign have to be, if she was unable to see the lake?

As long as everyone is admitting knowledge gaps: it wasn’t until my early twenties that I learned that fish tacos were food and not (just) slang for female genitalia.

When I was in college I bartended at burger restaurant.

Who doesn’t enjoy a nice mug of chinos on a cold day?

I do strongly advocate locking Cathy Young in a jar for an undetermined period of time.