Hard pass.

Small correction, easy mistake to make, tiny thing, completely understandable:

DRACARYS.

TSA is always hiring.

“Why were you fired from your last job?”

My cousin and his wife use Blue Apron fairly frequently. Of course, he is an ER physician and she is a general surgeon (both in NYC), so the last thing they want to do with the little time that they have off of work and together is go grocery shopping.

Also, I’m pretty sure that Blue Apron costs less per person than…

I don’t understand the concept of meal kits when you can:

Omg, guys. We are living in an episode of the Apprentice, aren’t we?

May I just say WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE.

As an old, huge shlong, could someone please explain to me the appeal of the neck tattoo?

Liberals can’t even shoot straight.

“As far as the people that were injured, it’s an absolute shame,’’ she continued. “You just want them to recover. Fortunately, the guy was a really bad shot. Liberals can’t even shoot straight.”

“MSN reports that Botha fired his rifle on the charging cows, but a fourth swept in and surprised him from the side.”

Right? I wonder who the marketing genius was that named a contact lens company after what is undoubtedly the most famous lens fuck-up in history.

Right? I wonder who the marketing genius was that named a contact lens company after what is undoubtedly the most…

Hmm, lens designs by Hubble? If my prescription arrives slightly wrong will they send a team of astronauts to my house with some customized glasses to fix the problem?

Hmm, lens designs by Hubble? If my prescription arrives slightly wrong will they send a team of astronauts to my…

Go to the gift table, leave a card saying “What a beautiful day! I hope you enjoy the gift!”, then take half a dozen cards off their gifts, and scatter them.

Why won’t they say the phrase “radical Christian terrorist”? Trump won’t even say the words. Terrible.