This is exceedingly good news for the Raptors, then, because I heard a rumor that LeBron’s girlfriend lives in Canada. You wouldn’t know her.

They are going to break and/or lose that thing, aren’t they?

Skyline is Greek.
Greek yogurt and icelandic skyr are very similar.
Basically the same cuisine.

Also,
Iceland has a similar population to Cincinnati.
Cincinnati metro is almost identical to Las Vegas metro.
Las Vegas was an underdog in their first ever NHL season.

*Translation: Iceland will advance to the Final?

*Icelandic…

Meet me in Temecula

Sure, typical Deadspin bullshit. Embiid dunks on a dude in a park and he’s a fucking hero.
Meanwhile, Richie Incognito attempts to tackle a dude at 24hour Fitness and he’s, “Mentally unstable.”

That’s a shimmy-shimmy from the cocoa puff. (Get it? Because a puff is delicate and so is Chris Paul!)

I’ll defend the guy on one point you made. You do realize that baseball is played during the spring and summer right? Evening game or not the sun was almost certainly out on the way to the game. I don’t blame anyone for bringing their sunglasses in with them, evening game or not.

Now if he was wearing his sunglasses…

Wait, does that actually read “DO NOT USE”?

You know the guy in Happy Gilmore that really wants to take Shooter McGavin to the Sizzler?

+68 (and I’ll owe you one)

Never trust a man who doesn’t know the difference between 21 and poker.

Due to Hood’s refusal to play, LeBron has downgraded his handshake with Hood to “white guy who just closed on his house.”

It’s plain to see that Hood is sensitive. And beneath his exterior, I bet the sensitivity is so high that’s sometimes he can’t even think straight. As to what’s eating him? Don’t know for sure, but certainly not DJ Khaled.

As dolphins have evolved with a streamlined body to aid swimming, their testicles are internal (like the weapon bays on an F-22). To compensate for the adverse temperature conditions, they have a network of blood vessels that circulate between the area surrounding their gonads to their dorsal fin and flukes to provide…

[Time of Your Life]

More like Emma Baccstabber, amirite?

In his next at bat, the kid was beaned by Justin Verlander

“and it’s awfully hard to imagine a sane and healthy society viewing it as anything other than a terrible failure by law enforcement.”

We can’t possibly know that. McGregor might have started out without the power to push over a Jenga tower. Getting him to where he could punch hard enough to bruise fruit might have been a huge accomplishment. And teaching him to stop saying “pow” with every punch was pretty much a miracle.

This is what straight sex looks like???? Huh. Seems disappointing.