Honest Kids are trash juice boxes. I don’t understand how a product that’s basically watered-down juice (which I’m fine with in principal) tastes so artificial

This mostly seems like it’d be hell for the waitstaff to have to enforce. I imagine there’s a lot of overlap between people who let their kids wreak havoc in a restaurant and people who’re shitty to service workers over management decisions. If this place doesn’t want kids there, a no kids policy seems simpler all…

I wonder if drizzling more mustard on would help the flavor, or if it’d just feel discordant.

On the other hand, why have such a difficult-to-roast guest judge on a roast challenge? Ronan seemed like he was having a great time, and he certainly wasn’t a bad judge. (I’d be happy to see him come back for a competitive season!) It was just a weird choice to bring him on for an episode where the contestants can…

For fuck’s sake, not everything unnecessary is a unitasker. 

Anchovies + pineapple is an S-tier pizza combination. I find either a little too much on their own, but the saltiness, sweetness, and umami together is pretty much unbeatable.

Plus, no one will ask to share your pizza!

Ahhh, I can smell the ride just from reading this article

If the trick is to eat foods with a high water content, surely popsicles and similar ice-based frozen treats would cool you down as well as high-water-content fruit? That Healthline article is about healthy foods that cool you down; the fact that popsicles aren’t mentioned doesn’t mean they don’t work, just that…

I only clicked into this article because I thought the strawberries and butter on those pancakes were pepperonis and cheese, and I admit that I’m disappointed. I guess what I’m saying is, please make Dennis make pizza pancakes

It’s probably too late for this season, but next year I’d love to see Top Chef reviews on this site

Is there anyway I could get my takeout with no herbs?

Trisha Yearwood’s page being ranked below a malware warning brings back pleasant memories of Defector lists where the second-to-last position is “getting hit by a bus”

I’m concerned that this game will inspire impressionable people to remove all their bones and start doin’ murders

I suspect that Maddy was a little too aware of her status as The First Straight Guy. Like, it’s good that she was respectful of the queer space she was in (and judging by her comments in this reunion and elsewhere, that was a major priority for her) but I think she held back from being as sharp and funny as she could…

I also like to throw in a thing of olive oil, because it’s a fancy/treat food that’s (a) not at all hard to use, and (b) not “junk food” so it won’t get tossed

I’m not sure Leslie’s part, as written, would’ve worked for a queen (just because he didn’t have much screen time or standout bits) but you’re absolutely right that the love interest should’ve been a queen. Who the heck let Leland give himself like the third-biggest role in the Rusical??

If Maddy had worn the green dress (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), she probably would’ve been in the top so the judges could commend her on finally showing some style. And at the same time, if Kerri had worn Maddy’s look, she could’ve actually put up a fight in the lip sync

Your writing here was equal parts funny, inspired, and stupid as hell (affectionate), which made for a fantastic reading experience. I’ll really miss seeing you on this site. Best of luck on your new projects!

I’m also a boxed cake/homemade frosting kinda person—cakes are a lot easier to screw up than frosting. Allison, any chance we could get a follow-up article where you test a shitload of boxed cake mixes?

You can get 2 Jack-in-the-Box tacos for $1, which reinforces your point that one should be wary of plentiful $1 food