It would be funny if they decided to bring it back only when the McRib was also available

Thank goodness this article didn’t exist when I was a teen working at a movie theater, because I don’t think I would’ve been able to resist telling moviegoers who bought a bucket of popcorn and a Coke (mine was a Coke theater chain) to enjoy their pissy shitties

I read that as “big Toronto vibes” at first and yeah, that too

You thought Guy Fieri was Kate McKinnon‽

This reminds me of the “Tumblr-safe” version of Truth Coming out of Her Well.

Alternately, do this costume, and when people ask you what you’re supposed to be, just say “Angela Merkel,” with no further explanation.

She even had a conversation with Maggie about how many legs an octopus should have!

I half-expected the entire body of this article to be “It’s fucking hot outside.”

I’d love to see a season for first- and second-elimated queens. They could do the RuDemption season instead of an All-Stars one year, which would hopefully refresh the All-Stars pool a bit

One of the things I really like about Mall of America is that it’s a big rectangle (now with a stupid appendage that I resent, but still). Despite being huge, it’s pretty much impossible to get lost in because it’s shaped so sensibly. Is this the secret to its popularity?? Okay, obviously not, but I wish more mall…

It’s really unfair to call the lady an asshole for something you think she might do, compared to two companies that are actually screwing her around. Unless she actually does something assholish, she’s just the victim here.

The reason Tina didn’t win the lipsync was that her lipsynching was terrible. Her dancing was tons of fun, but she didn’t bother to mouth the words half the time. 

What a great inaugural entry for this column. The eggstractor may be bullshit (although, given how your yolks came out, it might be defying the laws of physics, just in an unhelpful way) but I laughed aloud at your travails and award-worthy photography

My two-year-old would be over the moon about this! That is not me saying that it’s a good idea.

I think the biggest problem with her wording is that she doesn’t actually say that she believes the women who’ve come forward. “Well, he didn’t abuse me” isn’t necessarily a problem in a statement (I assume that it’s accurate), but not explicitly saying anything about the women Manson did abuse—“those of you who have…

Moorhead...Climax...Utica!

Are they any good? There was a jar of them on the counter at my local fancy candy place, and when I inquired about them, the lady behind the counter flat-out said, “Nah, don’t bother, we only stock those for nostalgia’s sake and they’re not worth it.”

As a parent attempting distance learning, I’m not sure I believe that, haha. You may be underestimating how crap the rest of us are at teaching.

In either case, though, I think we can all agree that most teachers know how to teach better than this jerkhole.

She should have eaten some pieces of his puzzle

Also: Go fuck someone who does find you desirable!