Cheesecake is a pie.

the conspiracy that the Sandy Hook school shooting ever happened.

Now that we’re going to have competent adults handling the pandemic response, they should reach out to you to turn this headline into a jingle about parosmia awareness

As I remember it, that the chalupa with nacho cheese was a specific thing—there was the supreme chalupa (with sour cream) the baja chalupa (with some kind of special sauce you can’t get any more, RIP) and the nacho cheese one. The baja and supreme ones had regular Taco Bell cheese.

Oh man I vant this so much!

“blow up in their faces like one of those improvised explosive devices of Antifa.”

I appreciate all these reviews, but Allison is the MVP here because she covered the all-important “how funny is it to give this to someone else?” factor of weird novelty foods.

Wow the bar is gonna be high for any of these girls to win a lip-synch. Going up against one of the show’s best lip-synchers would be hard enough, but if this week was any indication, they’ll also have to perform to a song perfectly suited to the assassin. Like, I don’t think India could’ve taken Yvie no matter what…

And don’t forget to listen to his album of Halloween music while you’re at it!

The problematic term is “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome.” “Umami” is totally fine.

Nah, this is ranking names, not characters. “Darth Revan” sounds like something Darth Millennial would name his kid.

#janstice4jan

My only experience of Bubble Guppies is their ride in Mall of America, which is called, no joke, the Bubble Guppies Guppy Bubbler.

I don’t think this is quite analogous because it’s generally much easier to give a guy an orgasm. Like, men pretty much always get off during penetration, and women often don’t. So for a man, oral sex is a fun extra way he can orgasm, but for a woman, not getting it may mean she doesn’t get an orgasm during that…

My 5-year-old is a big fan of Odd Squad, a lightly surreal PBS series about child special agents solving weird crises with math. Said 5-year-old is also kicking ass at kindergarten math, and whenever I compliment her on her math skills, she says something to the effect of, “Duh, Mom, you know I watch Odd Squad!” She…

Marnie, do you actually... enjoy jelly beans? I’m not here to stump for Brach’s (which are terrible) or anything, but your vivid description of how much you loathe jelly bean shells on the first slide makes me think that maybe you should’ve handed this one off, even though you’re usually the Candy Knower around here.

I think they missed an opportunity by not making the hunters and victims all conservatives (or liberals). Elites hunting the normal people whose values and anxieties they claim to be in tune with seems like it would have more satirical bite.

Exactly. It’s like how when people say that grammar and language shouldn’t change, they mean that it should have stopped changing at the moment they learned it.

I really wanna know what the “failed attempt” he mentions consists of. If he only wants her to wear a fake cast while sitting around for a couple hours, how on earth does anyone fail at that? Either she hates the idea/sensation of wearing a cast, or fulfilling his fetish is a lot more involved than he’s presenting it a…

First-degree criminal sex acts are class B violent felonies in New York! He could still get the minimum sentence of 5 years, of course, but he'll have to spend most of it in jail.