I half-expected the entire body of this article to be “It’s fucking hot outside.”

I’d love to see a season for first- and second-elimated queens. They could do the RuDemption season instead of an All-Stars one year, which would hopefully refresh the All-Stars pool a bit

One of the things I really like about Mall of America is that it’s a big rectangle (now with a stupid appendage that I resent, but still). Despite being huge, it’s pretty much impossible to get lost in because it’s shaped so sensibly. Is this the secret to its popularity?? Okay, obviously not, but I wish more mall…

It’s really unfair to call the lady an asshole for something you think she might do, compared to two companies that are actually screwing her around. Unless she actually does something assholish, she’s just the victim here.

The reason Tina didn’t win the lipsync was that her lipsynching was terrible. Her dancing was tons of fun, but she didn’t bother to mouth the words half the time. 

What a great inaugural entry for this column. The eggstractor may be bullshit (although, given how your yolks came out, it might be defying the laws of physics, just in an unhelpful way) but I laughed aloud at your travails and award-worthy photography

My two-year-old would be over the moon about this! That is not me saying that it’s a good idea.

I think the biggest problem with her wording is that she doesn’t actually say that she believes the women who’ve come forward. “Well, he didn’t abuse me” isn’t necessarily a problem in a statement (I assume that it’s accurate), but not explicitly saying anything about the women Manson did abuse—“those of you who have…

Moorhead...Climax...Utica!

Are they any good? There was a jar of them on the counter at my local fancy candy place, and when I inquired about them, the lady behind the counter flat-out said, “Nah, don’t bother, we only stock those for nostalgia’s sake and they’re not worth it.”

As a parent attempting distance learning, I’m not sure I believe that, haha. You may be underestimating how crap the rest of us are at teaching.

In either case, though, I think we can all agree that most teachers know how to teach better than this jerkhole.

She should have eaten some pieces of his puzzle

Also: Go fuck someone who does find you desirable!

Cheesecake is a pie.

the conspiracy that the Sandy Hook school shooting ever happened.

Now that we’re going to have competent adults handling the pandemic response, they should reach out to you to turn this headline into a jingle about parosmia awareness

As I remember it, that the chalupa with nacho cheese was a specific thing—there was the supreme chalupa (with sour cream) the baja chalupa (with some kind of special sauce you can’t get any more, RIP) and the nacho cheese one. The baja and supreme ones had regular Taco Bell cheese.

“blow up in their faces like one of those improvised explosive devices of Antifa.”

I appreciate all these reviews, but Allison is the MVP here because she covered the all-important “how funny is it to give this to someone else?” factor of weird novelty foods.

Wow the bar is gonna be high for any of these girls to win a lip-synch. Going up against one of the show’s best lip-synchers would be hard enough, but if this week was any indication, they’ll also have to perform to a song perfectly suited to the assassin. Like, I don’t think India could’ve taken Yvie no matter what…