The best possible NPR pledge-drive reward would be access to a secret frequency where we don’t have to listen to any fucking pledge drives.

This sounds like a disaster.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. At least The Terror, the previous winner of the “adaptation turned anthology show with no ongoing connection to the source material” sweepstakes, has a generic-enough title that it kind of works for an anthology.

If they weren’t jarringly more expensive than Oreos, I would just eat Famous Wafers and not even bother with the stuf.

A friend of mine once showed up to a Halloween party in a Vikings jersey and tried to claim that he was in costume as a Vikings fan. The host made him wear a bag over his head to better reflect how he should feel about his choice of costume/sports fandom. Since then, I interpret all bag costumes as “ashamed of…

Have a sad star. RIP Booze Mart. :(

My slowest local drive-thru is a Pollo Campero, but I can’t confirm whether that’s a chain-wide problem, because the next-closest location is six hours away.

The Berenstain/Berenstein thing is a commonly-used example of something called the Mandela affect, a goof-ass theory that widely-held false memories (like misspelling “Berenstain” or misremebering the movie Kazaam as being called “Shazaam”) are in fact bleed from slightly different alternate universes. In this case,…

So is this review from the Berenstein Bears universe, or...?

So he is! My brain just kind of erases them every time I see him, because he just seems like a mascot that should be pantsless.

This is only tangentially related, but my name is Martha, and one of the most unsettling experiences of my life was walking through a Macys and suddenly being confronted with a pie tin that said “Martha’s Pumpkin Pie” on it. Obviously, it was a Martha Stewart product, but in the moment, my brain just went, “Ahh, fuck,…

Who WOULDN’T want a free tattoo of a cherub holding a bag of dicks?

I’m so disappointed that this is the only use of the YOU FOOLS YOU CHILDREN YOU INFANTS tag.

Is this...not a thing where you live? Am I the weird one for considering ranch one of the standard dipping-sauce options?? Has my whole life been a lie???

Okay, but is a turducken sausage in a bun a “sandwich?” Let’s ask some celebrities!

Yeah, some of this seems to be people voting up properties/people who are themselves annoying, rather than going by fanbase toxicity. If there is a dedicated BBT fandom out there, they’ve never done anything to get called out on pop culture websites, which probably means they don’t deserve to be in this bracket at all.

Keith Phipps’ Box of Paperbacks Book Club! Yeah, that was a great feature.

The group’s acronym is COK, which (a) is great for a chicken-advocacy group, and (b) leads me to assume the pantslessness was intentional.

It honestly never occurred to me until I read your comment that “Topher” is a diminutive of Christopher. I can’t decide whether that’s because I’m an idiot, or Topher is an idiotic name.

This is a bad analogy. The Mona Lisa is a shared thing—if someone spat on it, that would change the viewing experience for everybody. Whereas if someone orders an overcooked steak, they’re only changing the taste experience for themselves. Their choice doesn’t affect you in any way. Art-wise, it’s much more like…