Poor Larry, all he ever did was fry eggs and try to kill some mercs with an Audi.

There’s zero excuse for what she said. Berate the attendant all she wants for the towing, not her education, looks, etc.

Real talk: Advanced Towing is scumbag central. I don’t think they’ll hire you unless there’s at least 50 people who would go to jail just to punch you in the face.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

I wish motherly empathy/instincts could be weaponized. These fuckers would BURN.

John Wall probably also saved his coach’s job this season.

Yeah, man. Totally. If he can beat the charges because the system is set up to cater to rich men who keep their victims in a cycle of submissiveness and silence, then he should totally be allowed to box, right? After all, he’s sooo naturally talented at beating people’s heads in, and shouldn’t he be allowed to profit…

1) Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist; not an accused rapist.

Except Fred Durst.

No physical evidence? How about a shell casing/gum with DNA, video surveillance footage, tire tracks, etc. There were complications, sure, like a lack of a clear motive, and no murder weapon, but there was plenty of physical evidence.

I would rather read all day about obscure, slow, and shitty cars than supercars.

Netural

And some of his podcast listeners are blind, but you don’t see them bitching about not being able to read his shitty-ass columns.

I thought Paprika worked well. Though it really is one of his more complicated works.

I'm just disappointed that the biography doesn't include Chopped Champion Bitches!

This plan is fundamentally sound, but boring.

Bachelor parties are the perfect time to get all of your friends together and realize that your high school friends, college friends, and work friends all have absolutely nothing in common with each other. It's like counting the rings of a tree: you can chart your interests and maturity based on what stories your…

Drew, when your kids get older and read all your archived Funbags through the Apple Mind Melder Pro do you think that they will see all the shit you write abt them and murder you in your sleep?