Basically, don't have sex unless everyone involved is sober.

Not since those nice people from full house moved away.

They live in your hair follicles and have been called eyelash mites for as long as I remember.

and yet that guy can get laid but I can't.

It's just foolish to comment on this kind of shit if you're a celebrity.

We mostly just use women as baby factories since we don't have that technology available to us.

None. I honestly can't see myself reaching retirement age. I'm just going to live it up while I can.

"You would enjoy a career as a Back-End Web Developer." No because that's what I already do.

Pour chocolate or barbecue sauce on it.

I imagine that the marksman was just scanning the area rather than actively preparing to fire on anything. I can't say for sure what was happening though.

I have a bunch of dry erase boards in my apartment. I got them thinking I would use them for something other than drawing vulgar cartoons on. I was wrong.

I've found that I need to force myself to be a bit more animated when around others. I like going to concerts but I experience music differently from the people around me. I don't jump around and show excitement. I kind of get lost in it all and kind of forget where I am. People are always asking why I'm so unhappy. I…

Why not just have image comments not display until the user takes some sort of action to be shown the image?

to keep us from getting sick of him, we need to limit these e-fellatio articles.

I dread telling people because I work in software development and they will immediately make me their go to guy for resolving any kind of problem related to electronics.

I pretty much never filter anything aside from subject matter when I'm around kids. My mom is a sweet old church lady but would drop f bombs all over the place when the situation called for it. I got used to hearing it as a kid and still knew not to run around calling somebody's grandmother a ho.

How in the hell is he not in prison? The league shouldn't have to suspend him because he should be missing games already.

I thought my stainless steel cookware was doomed to have copper colored grime on it forever until this stuff got it looking like new in a few seconds. I accidentally let some spill into a non stick pan and it ate the coating away though.

Overreacting to internet trolls doesn't lend much credibility to a cause. I saw no indication that his vague rant that he had any true intent to do much more than make a big scene. Something not being funny or offending YOU is no reason for the rest of us to fly off the handle. "... this is not a joke to women" tells…

I've always taken the "prepare your anus" thing as a more a prison rape reference than anything. The guy thoroughly makes an ass of himself and there isn't a need to exaggerate this idiot's tweet as an actual threat. If that constitutes a threat then there are a lot of teenage boys that need to be arrested for the…