I'm dying here

Yeah, but that says Business Checking. So, that his business' (whatever that entails) cash flow, not his, right? Even douchier.

Why is he using Tinder to buy an escort? That seems like an unnecessary middle man.

Yeah he's definitely going to attract a certain kind of woman. Or man. I don't know what Brandon's into besides probably jerking off in front of a mirror.

"What makes the chicken Amish? Well, imagine Roman Catholic chicken but without all the idolatry and pedophilia."

Nothing is worse than people who think they're fucking clever when they make the same obvious joke that 500 people have already made. One place I worked, we had an Eggs Benedict that we called the "Eggs 129" because our address was 129. I get people asking WHY that was called that (despite the description saying what…