In dog-related news, PETA is coming down hard on Gronkowski for signing autographs with his shar pei.

“claimed that Holder merely slipped and fell”

Dayuuim Deadspin. Gotta give it you this is some great muckraking, and journalism. ESPN, Fox Sports, NBC may want to take notes.

this bill looked like crap, but there’s nothing more hysterical than imagining Nick Lachey as the head of an Ohio cartel.

I was gonna respond but then I was like...

MARK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THAT THE LADY THEY BURIED WAS SOMEHOW ALIVE UNDERGROUND FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS

If anyone is good at holding multiple opposite viewpoints at one time, it’s a conservative Republican.

Please no she deserves better than that greasy beard on chicken legs.

I’ll take care of this.

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Apple

“Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.”

- Stalin, to the Ukrainians

I hope that wall had insurance!

Me when I go home.

If a Vegan does crossfit, what do they rush to tell you about first?

“What a great date night, right, babe?”

While we definitely need more all-female comedies to exist and I will say how excited I am for the female Ghostbusters to happen, must we have more “female versions” of movies? Can’t we just have some original ideas?

“Sully, Knucklefuckle, and Phart”