Because he’s going senile, and so the joke is new and fresh to him every time?

One particular surgery I had, the surgeon had hands like a god damn gorilla (a plastic surgeon, but I digress.)

Yes, that one who insists on increasing the volume as the rest of the choir - who can actually sing - tries desperately to drown her out.

KatsPurpleDiscoBall can assemble meals for seven on short notice with chicken nuggets, green beans, macaroni and cheese, and the occasional salad with extra flair. She’ll definitely be available for ambassadorship to Italy, where she will hone her ability to make a quick hamburger-based spaghetti bolognese. She once…

The “thwock” sound when they lift it out is something I’ll never forget. That, and the husband turning white. By the 4th section, he was a pro at it. But the first one? Yeah, allll kinds of firsts for us.

I’m sitting on the couch on the heating pad right now, because like a moron, I thought I was having a “good day”, and figured I could vacuum one level of the house without too much damage.

14 is not a young child. If my son - at 14 - did something like this, or even watched and didn’t stop it, the beating that would land him the hospital would probably land me in jail. Protecting these kids only sends the message that the little boy isn’t worth enough to prosecute those assholes to the full extent of…

As an unfuckable Old Woman of 46, I still get the demeaning “sugar”, “sweetheart”, or “honey” from men who are either pressuring me to do something they want or not doing what I want them to do. It’s not sexual, it’s somewhat of an automatic on their part and only gets pulled out if the conversation gets necessarily…

Totally off topic and off track, but I can tell that either (a) you have lived in California for quite some time or (b) are a native, because of this sentence:

“Her problem is, she still thinks like a rich white man.”

You mean Kelly looking like this?

Fuck, I’m in Virginia and you can get them as a god damn license plate.

I’m clueless and tone deaf as hell, apparently, because right now I’m still in shock that there are literal, actual armed Neo Nazis and KKK folks walking about the streets, bare-assed, and totally unashamed. I’m too scared about them to worry about how I’m coming across to other folks. This infighting and squabbling…

The HOA on my old road in Idaho consisted of 7 households. Somehow, our family was never invited to the HOA meetings where they made decisions on things like drilling a new well, which cost each household over $4,000. We were always informed after the fact. I remember once asking MisterDisco if they were holding…

I was just in California for a funeral back in May. Out here in DC, Teslas are rare enough to warrant a quick camera shot if you’re not moving. A Model X? Holy shit, a showstopper.

BTDT. Lived on this side of broke and now that side of some money. The pronouncements people make when they see our house (never mind we got a smokin’ deal on it) or my car (it’s not hella expensive) and you’d think we sold our souls to Satan.

When I moved to the DC area, I rented a big house in an upscale neighborhood because I have four kids and we could. Imagine the neighbors’ horror as I rattled my beat-to-shit-from-Idaho Dodge Ram down their streets, all dented and rusty and rumbling, while their pristine little Porsches and Lexii pulled away in…

And weather reports for this area show off and on rain starting on Saturday. Awesome.

I am going to the Keys in 10 days. I hope like hell I see a manatee. (And no, I won’t touch it)

Notice how despite she is having to repeat “Reclaiming my time” over and over, he still attempts to talk over her and bluster his way through. Unbelievable.