^ Truth. I actually really love fancy chickens..^

“I’m not sure what the point was but I am sure it is socially acceptable to fry up a chicken and serve it at a picnic. Fried fetus may lead to you ruining Fourth of July (again)“

Hot spooning for the win. Protip - never EVER do this on your face, particularly your nose. The skin is very thin ,and it will blister, then pop and leave a scab. :(

I have a MB Pro with the touchbar. I generally use it for emojis for texts, which is a piss poor adaptation of its utility. It took some getting used to for volume and brightness, but now it’s second nature. Humans are amazingly adaptable.

Yar, don’t talk for me, Mr. Orange Fuckstick. I’m an atheist to the core.

“Maaaaybe, I’ll tell you about it...tomorrow.”

I wonder if this fuck is familiar with the phrase “Dasein ohne Leben.”

I maintain that we are living in a “...factors leading to...” paragraph in the history books.

So Trump will be tweeting wildly to refute whatever Comey says that he doesn’t like? Ten bucks says he slips up and tweets something incriminating to himself.

I’ve had someone snarl at me “Cover those things up!” pointing at my chest.

What I want to know is how these boys ever manage out in the wild, where there is no dress code, and cleavage, navels, bra straps, nipples, and yoga pants are everywhere. How, oh, how do they ever manage?

Sprays aren’t lazy. They’re faster than lotions, even rubbing them in, and getting four balky kids to stand still for lotion application takes far longer than spray them heavily.

Agreed. Putting sunscreen on all six of us on our last trip to Florida would have been a nightmare without sprays, but I’m liberal as hell with them. Creams with titanium dioxide for the face, sunscreen sticks for the littler ones. And I went through probably 15 cans while we were there, in five days. We’re going…

Hey, I drive one of those big bad Dodge Rams. 4X4 NO LESS.

RED LINE FTW

I believe in don’t ask, don’t tell. I don’t need to know you’re a Christian any more than you need to know I’m an atheist.

/peacemaking instinct kicks in/

Oh, my god, the agony of the replay.

Already happened.

Oh, jesus, did you just fucking bootstrap?