Trump doesn’t have any fuckin secret recordings. He just blurts out shit off the top of his head in the moment because he likes the sound of his own voice.

“Two Scoops, One Pie”

Well, I guess a cop would have to be happy to follow me home to check my birth certificate because I’m sure as fuck not in the habit of toting that - or my Social Security card? - around with me.

yes, all those babbies that were born with congenital defects were totally masturbating in the womb, or smoking crack in there, or associating with whores, or something something.

‘YOU FUCKIN PEOPLE AND YOUR FACTS, I SWEAR TO GOD.’

I have access to a Tesla P100D, a Bugatti Veyron, hell, a Silver Shadow if I want one. I have total access to all of those things.

When they have to bandy fucking semantics to the point of what “is” is, we’re in deep shit, no?

Well, that’ll show her for choosing to be a POC and a woman.

I know, it’s like they never had the whole pie and are grudgingly, screamingly doling out tiny percentages of it to POC, women, and folks of different orientation.

I think that it’s all three - don’t know, don’t care, and feel safe enough to give the finger to the many folks who aren’t rich, white, Christian males in this country. *sigh*

Thank you, Monster coffee shot all over my keyboard. A fine way to start the morning! (I know none of this is funny but that truly was.)

If any of these old assholes can point out the basic structure of women’s anatomy, as well as how menstruation and conception work, I’ll eat my shoe.

I have to ask - is looking like a smug, rich, white man a prerequisite for being a Republican politician?

Of course he’s learned to reproduce asexually, because lord knows that man doesn’t engage in anything as base and ungodly as fucking,

“Eh, you can die, you had your kids. But ABORTION IS BAD, OKAY?”

Slutty hoor, USE PADS LIKE JESUS INTENDED

Well, he said it, so you should believe it, because superior logical something something

I could build on that by noting that I’m at least as rabid as my husband about hockey, and I have three teams to spread the love (Kings, Pens, Caps).

Mid life crisis to me always meant dumping the old frumpy wife, sprucing up the hair, hitting the gym, buying a sports car, and relentlessly chasing 20-somethings who are only with you because you’re picking up the tab.

“That person just mocked me. Let my now try to twist the law so that I charge them with a BS infraction and get them thrown in prison so no one else does the same thing.”