I looked at that menu. So you say “I am yo soy Feliz”? I am I am Feliz? And then the waiter says “You are I am Feliz”? I am ... confused.

Oh god, that line “We’re influencers!”

Just threw up a little tea in my mouth, don’t mind me.

ofmg I died

I don’t even...what? He dried his towel on the vents over the tubes? What the fuck the hell even?

*strokes chin meditatively*

I and my friends are sufficiently weird enough that your last sentence is why I don’t talk on a cell phone in public too often.

/hangs head/

And then the logical idiots like me go, “If you need a fucking team of specialists to make your meal and you’re the only one who can make it properly, maybe just...stay home?”

NEVER BE AMAZED AT PINKHAM’S LAW

How did that play out in court?

Oh my god you are the devil because I fill in my eyebrows on a daily basis and it is SUCH.A.CHORE.

Now I’m totally excited to get this. I don’t know if I should be concerned about that or not but YAY for new makeup!

oh, argh. I was hoping I could help. D:

I try to take naps when everyone is at school or work.

Mentioned down below but:

Urban Decay 24/7 Waterline? It is a gotdayum chore to get off but it lasts and lasts and lasts (pretty well on lashline too if you don’t need a super sharp line)

I just googled Jagua Gel and it’s tacky that I’m 44 and am all over buying some of that pls

OMFG ME TOO

I drink caffeine to get that OHAI I AM NOT ON COCAINE JUST WILDLY MADLY 1000% AWAKE CAN I HELP YOU I THINK I’LL BUY A BOAT look.