Yas! My clothes are mostly preppy basic bitch but I have stuff for crazy hippie chick and severe chick and A-line skirt and on and on. I have too many clothes I think!

Now I’m totally excited for it to come in the mail (albeit slowly, WTF Ulta, why your shipping so slow!) I got some CHI in Argan, which I’ve never seen before, and I forget what else. I was so jazzed to get to Platinum that I might’ve, um, over-ordered a bit. D:

ROFLMAO

Oh my god don’t tell me that, i just hit Platinum with Ulta and I’m terrified of the implications. I may or may not have Platinum because I bought Lionfish because I couldn’t help myself even though I can’t imagine where I’ll wear bronze eyeliner except maybe another fetish ball but eesh...

It’s like that leather motorcycle jacket I have hanging in my closet that’s a real motorcycle jacket and it matches NOTHING I wear since I’m a preppy basic bitch more or less, but every now and then I put it on and make the zipper jangle and listen to the leather creak and pretend I’m a bad ass bitch.

WHO WON TELL ME

I imagine it holds true for some women, but my umbrage was taken at the implication that all women get fake boobs (or anything else, for that matter) mainly because of other women (or men, or the moon, or whatever).

Me too, that’s why I avoid it. And I always get those stupid white chunks in my eyelash roots, then you try to pick them out, then you realize you’re spending entirely too much time on this whole business.

I used straight-up argan oil on that stuff and let it sit for a solid 15-20 seconds. It makes your eyes filmy for a few but it gets it off!

Don’t you hate that, when your aesthetic sense and your sensible sense collide and have a naked cagefighter death match right in the middle of your skull?

I was a M or L before I got pregnant (all four times). Imagine how big I was while pregnant, especially that home stretch at the end. Ebay was my friend.

Rock those flats. You are growing a baby!

You can wear heavier eye makeup to “show through” the glasses, or so they tell me.

+1 on “In the Nude”. I’m an old fart of 44, and white (even Nyx’s Milk) look too harsh on me. But a nice nude color? POP

I had a Stila Smudge Stick in Purple Tang (got it in a Birchbox many moons ago) and I LOVED IT BEYOND ALL REASON and then one day it just *foop* was GONE and I cried bitter tears (not really but I like hyperbole) because it was too damned much money to buy another one and now I’m stuck on Urban Decay. THE STRUGGLE IS…

*flaps hands excitedly*

Urban Decay 24/7 liner (either Glide-On or Waterline) in Perversion. It’s black as oil, death, the inside of your skull, your heart, whatevs. Both MisterDisco and I wear to it certain...ahem...*events* and it wears equally well on both of us, my dry ass lids and his oily ones (granted I have a ton of shadow on mine…

Prestige’s regular eyeliners are pretty gosh-damn good too, I must say.

I figure after the staggering amount of money that MisterDisco has dropped on Clash of Clans while he’s convalescing, I’m due a little bit of money for me.

“*Women don’t get breast implants because ‘men demand them.’ Women get breast implants because they think they need fake boobs as big as their “friends’” [ahem] fake boobs.”