“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

no offense to these substitutes, but i hate them all so far.

Well, I generally come into the game at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lebron can’t see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour. Yeah, I just stare at the basket, but it looks like I’m thinking about taking a good shot. I do that for probably another hour after halftime, I’d…

McAdoo is a finalist for the Wade Phillips Cup, the trophy given out to the NFL coach who looks the most like the assistant manager of a tire store.

I also bumped into Jeff Fisher on a checkout line recently. It was at a 7-Eleven in Montana. However, after he left it was a 7-Nine.

I’d watch what I say about Barkley. You know what he’s capable of...

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

This may sound terrible, but it isn’t unprecedented. In 2014, former Mariners catcher Jesus Montero was a perfect 31-for-31 at Baskin-Robbins.

Barcos

I do not understand how Billy Eichner keeps getting work. Easily the worst part of a bad season of Parks and Rec.

I am so fucking drunk right now.

Then I got hammered the next day and forgot to put it away. Ice Cream cakes are bad.

Got hammered once and woke up with this in my freezer.

Yeah, like we are going to take the word of a known criminal.

Let’s make a deal. Get rid of every unnecessary government agency, expenditure, subsidy, tax break and handout. Basically cut everything that is not essential to the operation of the federal government. Then, get rid of/stop enforcing laws that don’t need to exist. Use the budget surplus to pay off some of the…

Actually, he’s a Spur.

Fine, you are obsessed with people that are obsessed by Brady.

Rest in Pizza-Pizza

He was only off by two feet.

I haven’t seen a basketball player freak out from someone swallowing a frog since Brent Barry.