And I'm sure Belles breeder/mommy is completely ethical and working within breed standards to breed healthy pups rather than repeatedly breeding dogs for size with no regard for the overall health of the pups, right?

I will happily donate to a fund to spay Belle's mom.

My favorite neg ever:

Him: Zelda!
Me (dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda): Link!
Him: Huh?
Me: I'm dressed as Link. Zelda is the princess.
Him: Whatever. I know way more about video games than you.
Me:…

DISSENTING OPINION: I remain convinced Gaston is one of those dudes with a tragically enormous dick, who thinks that his huge schlong means he has to do zero work in the sack. He just bumps your cervix for five minutes then rolls over and congratulates himself for being such a superior cocksman.

Not wanting to be having sex in public, and not wanting to be photographed having sex, but having sex in public with people standing around watching and taking pictures, sure sounds non-consensual to me, but way to blame a teenage rape victim for her own rape.

On another note- would it have killed Gal to beef it up a little?! Just a little??? I would kill to see just one big muscular woman on screen.

You are all wrong! I am still the king!

Crayola box! Everyone knows you use the peach crayon to color white-people skin!

Why doesn't Mara Wilson ever recommend my Jezebel comments?

I'll be happy to kick them hard in their yam bags. You know, to raise awareness for testicular cancer.

"If I find out that Tony Zucco was behind this, there will be hell to pay."

What the hell is going on with his face? He looks like Clayface trying to hide in plain sight.

For a second I forgot Forever 21 is a store with money in it and I was wondering what the hell a werewolf was going to do with a sack full of tiny dresses.

"make a funny video about how silly the lyrics to some hit musicals would sound if they were recited as angry heterosexual propaganda."

I go to the gym at 6am specifically to avoid other people.

I'm sorry Madeleine but you are mistaken. THIS is the best rendition of "Wuthering Heights" ever.

#BikiniBridgetoTarasLabia

Time to train? Train for what, the match car races you want to run on your navel?

Hi, I'm hoping the wisdom and experience of some of you lovely ladies will come in handy here.

Given the way penguins store food and hold eggs on their feet, can they just act as their own U-hauls after the second date?