My boyfriend sat me down and was like ‘I love you, I know you love your birchbox, but you’re objectively not using a ton of the stuff and I’m finding unused perfume samples shoved in the back of every drawer around the bathroom. You may want to consider whether it’s worth paying for if you often don’t use the stuff’.

You’re here aren’t you?

I’ll camp out with ya anytime, Furlock! :)

Not at all! Your charm is, though a bit eccentric, unmistakable:)

I’m sorry if I came off prickish-ly or anything resembling the sort Meteor. I do really think you’re swell.

I disagree. I am one of only three employees who has access to our organisation’s Twitter and Instagram accounts but I’ve not had any personal social media presence in almost seven years. I’m very thankful for my resolve. If any employer or potential employer wanted to dig up internet dirt on me all they’d find is…

Well then I’m absolutely happy to be in the same camp as yourself Meteor, you lovely human.

Yes, charming Furlock, it is a humble-brag. At least when I say it, there’s no mistaking it:)

Is that a brag nowadays to not have social media? I wouldn’t know, I never developed my perspicacity effectively cause I have such roguish charm.

C’mon. You know you’re humble-bragging

Ding ding ding. You must have read the same dumb Business Insider Pearl Clutching Hot Take that I did. Let’s completely ignore the fact that we have a president that has decided to use a (failing) social media platform to incoherently blast out whatever inane, insane, and impulsive idea that pops into his idiot head.

You win.

He sounds like such a fucking raving lunatic! Somebody on his staff really just needs to like open a fucking Word document and convince him that’s his new way to post. Sure he’d buy it, brain surgeon that he is. Just spare me the fucking ranting and raving.

.

I love the looks like I’m a anthropomorphic frog with a giant rainbow-colored cock sprouting out of my forehead that some people give me when I say I’ve never had any social media.

I know right? Way to miss the point. Twitter shouldn’t be a president’s official platform.

People are freaking out that this is a massive security breach on Twitter’s end since they argue that at any time a disgruntled employee could take over Trump’s account and do something crazy like declare war on North Korea... all without realizing that Trump’s ability and likelihood of declaring war over Twitter and…

Quit twitter about a month ago. This is the only time I’ve regretted it. Pouring one out for Human Error tonight.

I was going with a Brittany Spears, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Beil thing.

No no no no no. Kara’s been gone, what, a month? Have some god damn respect.