Hell no. Sam is way to good for him.

No no no no no. Kara’s been gone, what, a month? Have some god damn respect.

Almost every time I had (protected) sex in my first few years of college I thought I had contracted an std. Turns out I was just realllllly sensitive to latex. OUCH

Hmmmm, silver lining....maybe you’ll get some good meds from the oral surgery? Wishful thinking

HO-LY SHIT

FINALLY!!!! I love this time of year for a few reasons, but my top two are Jezebel’s scary story contest and McDonalds holiday pies!!!!!!!!

Michael Keaton Batman. Hands down

Oh. My God. Just went thru that shit. My daughter had lice recently and after review activities & places visited in the week past I determined she MUST have gotten them at school. I immediately notified the school and told them I was certain she had gotten them from someone at school. I requested they check the kids…

And I’m (still) very upset with my husband for voting independent. Your point?

Where did you get your tongues??? I drove all over town last week looking for some and had to substitute with minced o’possum tails.

Yaaaassssss knowledge drop

Jelly to the hilt. I had noro so bad a few years back I actually legit thought I was going to die on my bathroom floor. I was in too much pain and agony to take an ambulance ride. I shudder at the memory.

I don’t think people should be @ing you, but I do get where they are coming from. Have you ever seen Hoarders? All I’m saying is that there def is a line that should be drawn when it comes to dirty (and I mean dirty, not messy) houses.

I see what you did there. hehe

sigh

All that avacado toast done screwed up your chicken leg-hut dreams.

Don’t forget the essence of chicken shit mixed with people blood.

Baba Yaga HATES sparkles.

I am now your follower.

Yaaassss KWEEN. Look at that contour. SHE IS CUT.