Just on a journalism level, this is so, so, so sad for the journalists and for the citizens of Las Vegas. Such a goddamn shame.

This is really just evidence how far Las Vegas has advanced in the past few decades. Back in the day, he would have just killed the reporters.

That’s literally the exact thing that they were doing.

I think the real news here is that ‘Herman Quirmbach’ is a actual person, and not a professor at Hogwarts.

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Are you fucking kidding me? Nice job being a fucking asshole.

Much to their Chelgren...?

Chelgren was less upset about the exact jokes in the performance than the fact that they weren’t corny enough.

This is bad news for the Iowans who were relying on the physicists at Stanford to help them perfect cow tipping.

“Go big and go home.”

This destroys the space/time continuum. Generally a player is wanted by BOTH the police and Jerry Jones

Which is worse: being wanted by the police, or NOT being wanted by Jerry Jones?

The report claimed that the team released him in November because of “a combination of issues,” including “signs of mental instability.”

“What are the odds?! No, seriously, what are the odds?” - Joseph Randle

Yeah, but bananas fit perfectly in my hand. So God.

Jesus doesn’t cut corners!!! You square off that shit off and make sure you have 90° on both sides of the cross for equal weight distribution.

I think he was talking about their ultimate futility as religious acts, not whether or not the terrorism part works.

If you dig back further, you’ll find Schlereth tell Thenextking83, “There’s a reason God didn’t call it the Bering Homosexual.”

Our solar system is not symmetrical. So there’s that.

I’m just getting really tired of people misunderstanding what a capital T “Theory” means in science. It doesn’t mean its an untested, unverifiable speculation. But this is not going to change. Because the Bible says stuff so that means its true. So much easier that way.