F--k this.

Don’t forget us Rifftrax fans, who love Roadhouse for the sheer inanity of it (and the many, many callbacks to it in many Rifftrax features)

You see how this whole article is structured, right? It begins - literally the opening sentence - by acknowledging this could be an “embarrassing gap in our knowledge”, then I repeatedly mock myself for reporting 23-year-old news throughout, and then finish by mocking us again by suggesting we’ll report on a Wii egg…

23 Years Later, We’ve Discovered An Amazing GameCube Easter Egg

It literally took 15 minutes, I do not consider it actual surgery it’s so simple, and two days of very mild discomfort after. Easiest choice of my life and I was thrilled to take the responsibility of BC off of my wife. Your friend’s wife is absolutely correct it’s a highly asymmetric responsibility pushed on women,…

Um. Actuarial math also adds up to free birth control for women, yet I still had to shell out a significant copay for it until the government forced the insurance companies to knock that shit off. You are giving them a bit too much credit if you assume they're all logical about this. 

Hard to have a forced birth if women can’t get pregnant. Look for the anti-choice crowd to start attacking this other form of birth control along with the rest.

I do the exact opposite; I stand up as soon as the plane takes off

Called on a group of teenagers once. But mainly because they were lighting whole lines of black cat firecrackers and tossing them on peoples’ hood as we all drove 60 down the highway. Like their aim was impressive but that seemed unwise.

Bomb fishing? Why? What do you think shock arrows are really for?

I never had a ticket in my old wrx and sti over a span of 7 years.  I know, crazy, but true.

These stories are crazy.  I had a wrx then an sti for almost 7 years and never got so much as a look from cops.

“...who have past speeding tickets versus those who don’t...”

What’s the 0-60 time on that Rio? 20 minutes.

Conversely, I daily drove a WRX for something like 11 years and never once got tagged for speeding.

So you’re saying that my Kia Rio STI with the big wing is bound to get pulled over ?

Hmm... Are they counting the STI separate from the WRX, in this case? If not, it’s the wing. Cops watch for the wing.

How the hell do you speed in an Impreza?

I got four when I had my WRX. Four. I lost my license for a month.

i would totally buy this or a wrx hatch, if they offered a new one. My outback is getting old and ill be wanting a new (to me) car in the next couple of years. This is such an obvious own goal on the part of Subee and i just dont get it.