My walk to work takes me past the Empire State Building and all its attendant bullshit. Some days, just because, I walk out of my way across on 32nd street instead. And feel dumb, but I figure the spectral baddie I’ve imagined is less likely to choose a K-Town pastry joint.

Plus, y’all’s fish’n’chips are better. Which is not nothing.

I’m not going to lie — as a 25-year resident of NYC, the idea that your town has a Community Gun that’s passed around by the criminal element to share is a little funny.

I shouldn’t be comforted to know the US hasn’t cornered the market on fuckwits....but I kinda am.

The right people never step on the rusty nails...

I’m good at eating eggs.

This. And me with only one star to give.

The guy’s name is Hamburg Tang? Hamburg Tang. Say it a couple times, that’s pretty funny.

I hope the judge/jury/whomever decides what they get, sees these pics.

I think it might’ve been possible to beg for leniency/mercy without trivializing the crime and dismissing the the victim. In fact, I’m sure of it.

I have to look like a Korean adolescent now?

Welp, Canadians, I guess this is your chance to get in while the gettin’s good.

I need a Hiro.

“When someone speaks of virtuoso vocalists and uses Kurt Cobain as an example of one, then everything they say is automatically discredited.”

Jesus Christ. Trump is too big an asshole for Ben to tolerate. That is quite a bar to meet, I must say.

I feel like this is a Juliette Lewis vehicle.

Great speech. And this made me happy: “Tell the next president of the United states that she should...”

It’s not enough, but it’s something.

Y’know, I’m a singer. Gig around in jazz clubs and whatnot. Occasionally people from my dayjob or generally non-musical people turn up, and point out that I don’t “sound like a black girl”. When I say, “Well, I’m a white girl. I’m more Peggy and Dinah than Sarah and Ella.” But then they ask if I’d get more gigs if I…

So, he won the douche-off that day, obvs.