My imaginary boyfriend is Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He’s beautiful.

My imaginary boyfriend is Nathan Fillion. He is perfect in all sorts of ways.

You need ACLS for everything. I had one patient that vagaled down to the teens and hovered as a disimpaction started. Yep, bad shit happens.

For 18 years, no one had the courage to tell blind white supremacist Clarisse Bigsby that she was, in fact, black. That would all change one fateful day in south Texas, moments after what seemed, at the time, to be nothing more than a botched call in a football game...

Right? I was doing a checklist in my head:

Cat guardian? Check.
Have an IUD? Check.
Poor housekeeper? Check.
Currently having the sex?

Whew. Dodged that bullet.

The vagina is a magical organ that can shut down a lot of things.

This is kind of a humiliation/triumph hybrid. When I was starting 3rd grade, we got a hot (for the 80s) new bus driver who I immediately started crushing on. He wore head-to-toe denim and played Bon Jovi for us on the morning of the first day. On the way home that afternoon, I realized fairly quickly that I needed to…

We do not understand teachers’ roles in children’s lives enough, appreciate them enough, or pay them enough.

Many years ago, I taught at a small boarding school. One of my students—I’ll call him “James”—was in sixth grade, and he was a difficult, petulant young man.

This is about my twin sister. First day of school, she was in second grade. A boy named Ricky started picking on her. Pulling at her hair, slapping, kicking and terrorizing her. She was scared but nobody did anything. The teacher just told Ricky to stop it but he continued. He was big and an asshole. He grabbed her…

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

I was sitting on the couch with my head resting atop the back, just minding my own business watching bad tv and turned around to adjust my Snuggie... There was a huge centipede just chilling on the wall inches from where my head was sitting, for who knows how long.

Thats so hard. I think it should be a law that periods dont happen until age 13. Maybe 14.

Not my story but ... My husband and his brother attended the same experimental private school when they were small. One day my future brother-in-law decided to re-enact Jaws for his kindergarden class. To make things as realistic as possible, he jumped into the school’s koi pond and bit a live frog in two. Both boys…

I was one of those ugly ducking girls for most of my hellish high school career but I did one of those stunning catch-up deals over summer between senior year and first year of community college. Learned to walk in heels, made a bunch of new friends (who were largely very attractive men also planning to attend the…

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

First day of preschool, I showed every damn person in the building the new Minnie Mouse underwear I was wearing.

This is kinda triggering for me, bc we are almost at the 30-year mark. It’s probably not funny, or strange, but it will be cathartic to write.

When my son passed away, he was 14 months old and a friend had brought his young daughter up from KY for the funeral. It was late January and she had never seen snow so she started doing snow angels and playing in the snow at the cemetery. The other kids who were there were looking at their parents for the same…

Just this summer, my uncle died. His cremated remains were brought from his state of residence to SC for interment. The graveside service, attended only by family, was held in the middle of the day during that godawful heat wave we had. It was 108 degrees. Three generations of my family stood around in our Sunday…