Go climb a tree, Die Hard with a Vengeance is the ONLY OTHER GOOD ONE. You are an insane person.

but they were still all pretty good, save for maybe the one with Samuel L. Jackson

So I grew up going to evangelical Christian camp (think "jesus camp") and so I have my "dealing with religious bigots" game down. So to everyone on the internet who is like "freedom of religion!! ARGARGARG" to them I have three things to say:

A reminder from your friendly neighborhood lawyer:

Perfect post is perfect.

I think he's totally hot, even though he's too skinny and tattooed for my taste, I do like M5, but I LOATHED 50 Shades. I had to force myself to finish it. After the first few chapters, I got and a pencil and was editing the sloppy writing, grammar, and BRITISH vocabulary of the twit heroine, who was supposedly…

Right? Madeleine, I'mma let you finish, but Maroon 5 had one of the best debut albums of all times. Or at in 2002, anyway.

Yeah, I can see where Channing Tatum checks the boxes for "a hot guy", but his face is way too bland for me. To each her own.

I gotta disagree with you about Channing Tatum, but I'll do it politely and without insinuating that you're stupid and should hate yourself, unlike this article.

Apparently, liking Maroon 5 means you're mediocre. At least that's what I read here. Because of course everyone has to have the same taste in music and there's no way a Top 40 band can have real talent.

Thank you. I don't dig these, "I hate this guy and so should you" posts, like we're obligated to dislike someone because it's popular right now not to like their band or some shit. He's said some douchey things, no doubt, but so does everybody else. Welcome to the world.

Aw, come on. This is the website that reluctantly admitted that we'd all have amazing, hot sex with Brody Jenner, even though we'd be totally ashamed and mad at ourselves for doing it the next day. We can admit the same thing for Adam Levine, that we'd do him, even though he's a complete and total douche.

Has there ever been a guy, period, who doesn't sound like an idiot at least part of the time? Heh.

I can't quite figure it out, as I am the beard lover of all beard lovers, but Jon Hamm might be the only man I don't like better with a beard.

I've never heard of this guy, but it seems like all the quotes that you're upset with are clearly him being cheeky/just kidding... so I don't get the angst. That said, Sam Rockwell will be the world's sexiest guy until he dies. Or Adrien Brody. Or Ed Norton. Those are my top three.

I don't find Beyoncé sexy in the slightest.

I am sort of ambivalent about Adam Levine. But I think it is sort of shitty go back nine years and dig up some of the stupidest and/or douchiest things he has ever said. I consider myself a reasonably balanced, smart woman but I would look like an idiot if you cherry-picked the stupidest things I have said in the…

asshole? yes. fun to look at? double yes.

WORST INTERNET BEER REVIEWER, RANKED:

"Why are people so into Yuengling?"