meanwhile, in bernie land, he’s all “fuck private prisons man”

My then 15 year old had his new girlfriend over to the house. I’d only met her a couple of times. I was cooking in the kitchen and they were at the table playing a boardgame. He would things like “want me to make some Crystal Lite?” and she’d be like “whatever you want.” He’d ask what flavour, “whatever you want. I…

I know; I love Iowa.

I’ve managed to catch every single time, and it’s giving me the giggles.

yes but you have to like, arrest and convict them first

“Textual Intercourse”.

I still miss the Sarah Connor Chronicles.

I am still mourning Jon, but I will say this about Trevor Noah:

I hope the world is willing to give him a few months to find his footing.

This is the 3rd time I've had to use this in less than a week. GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE!

i miss that guy that shot him in the face

Greek life bullshit needs to die.

His rationale for such a decision is two-fold Huckabee explained, it protects both fetus and mother: “There are two victims. One is the child; the other is that birth mother who often will go through extraordinary guilt years later when she begins to think through what happened — with the baby, with her.

I hope he’s as good as this...

Shitting on TV people: so classy.

Yeah. He spent one weekend - that’s all it took, one weekend - doing shows on other networks, Roger Ailes caved, and then just like that, he and Steve Doocy are doing the cable news equivalent of fellating each other on Fox and Friends. Meanwhile, Megyn Kelly is getting death threats. Soooo... she didn’t win this one.