There’s a lot of bad contestants on Jeopardy (like, a *LOT*). If you’re going to go down, better to go down smiling than looking like an idiot. You are my hero, Talia.

I’m trying to imagine being enough of an anal-retentive douchefrigate to go online to complain about how an attempt at comedy “ruined” a game of Jeopardy, but I can’t wrap my brain around it.

I was at a party recently (half my posts start with “I was at a party recently…” I swear I am a productive member of society) and got chatting with some Brits about Jeremy Corbyn. I said, “If I were British I would be a member of the Labour Party.” And they told me I looked like someone who’d be a Parliamentary…

Greatest tweet of all time.

Me too, even my yard. I edge my sidewalk and driveway.

Take that feeling, and then apply the admiration towards Gerard Butler instead.

Me whenever I see the name “Calvin Harris” in print.

This is how I feel about anything Kris Jenner says... EVER!

This one?

I want that cover dress more than I want children.

The sobbing while eating ice cream gif is the only appropriate reaction to a Lupita magazine cover.

Instead of watching the debate I made chocolate covered pretzels with home made candied bacon bits and I feel like I made the right choice for me and my family (me looking at myself in a mirror)

Quit. I did several months ago, and I haven’t looked back.

Haters and losers say I wear a wig (I don’t), say I went bankrupt (I didn’t), say I’m worth $3.9 billion (much more). They know the truth!

My favorite thing is when he insults someone by pointing out something about them that he’d “never say.”

Like. Some people would say that Donald Trump looks like his own wax figure semi-melted from being left in the heat of his own flatulence for too long.... *I* would never say that, far be it from me to point that…

I can’t decide if I’m a hater, a loser, a hating loser, or possibly a losing hater.

Technically Jesus didn’t come up with it, either. He just had a thing about calling “wailing and gnashing of teeth” on people who disagreed with him. Basically he said that folks who wouldn’t go along with him would suffer, but that’s pretty much in the tradition of the Old Testament. Hell is put together from loose…

I am a hater, looking forward to him being the loser.