I assume you are from an upstanding state about which one could not make some sweeping negative generalization based on personal feelings.

I get it. This has been 230 years in the making. John Jay finally got a chance to take a staunch stand against gay marriage after not being able to rule on it during his time on the Supreme Court.

Not to be over dramatic, but that is nothing short of assault.

“Attacking the officials? Finally, something I recognize in this so-called ‘football’!”

John Carroll owned a slave too! I’m thinking you’re right, that no college had an unblemished founder (except maybe Penn — Franklin was pretty cool for a scheming syphlitic self-promoter).

Wonder Twins, Activate!

Can we stop pretending like that’s a thing? Stewart is a fantastic young actress. Just because you haven’t seen much of her stuff beyond Twilight doesn’t negate that.

I KEPT THINKING THAT. Like, congrats on your soon-to-be diabetic kids AND your garbage extensions.

Don’t forget the universal asshole notification of “the customer is always right”. No one has ever said those words to a service industry worker while not being an asshole.

So if someone who is red-allergic breeds with someone who is green-allergic, are their kids colorblind?

THIS. I am so tired of women’s successes being credited to their fathers/husbands/whoever, as a way of putting them down. Evaluate them on their own merits, for fuck’s sake. If you think they suck at their jobs and don’t deserve their fame and success, go ahead and say so, but there’s no need to throw in the whole…

Also-

Diversity is what makes this country great. Imagine life if you couldn’t head down to your local kebab shop, or Jewish deli, or Thai restaurant, or Mexican joint, or pizza parlor, or sushi bar, or Korean BBQ, or Mongolian grill. Where the only choice was 100% All American All The Time.

Or don't eat gmos, because autism.

I once went for a full year without wanking because a series of unfortunate events and horrendous OCD lead to me believing it brought me bad luck. I was single the entire time and regularly woke up realising I was humping the duvet out of sexual frustration.

Exactly. It was a Northern European language. Not a “brown” one.

Yeah, most people don't appreciate the radical streak of the Jesuit tradition. They're basically communists :)

I personally find Kristin Stewart to be misunderstood by people, both in the media and general public alike. She’s very talented and honestly one of the coolest people on the planet.

Her father is a TV stage manager, not the head of development at 20th Century Fox.

Alternate title: “Wasps stung my balls and now I have a new fetish.” ? :)