Also: world’s most simple lyrics. He’s practically “yeah yeah, my dick gets big, then I put it in her vagina. Yeah. She’s a girl. I have a dick. I have sex with my dick.” Lyrical master indeed.

*SWOON*

Percy Bitch Shelley.

“She a big girl dog, yeah I’m putting in, I’m penetrating, I’m getting big, yeah I’m stimulated.”

Wait, you weren't stimulated?

“Oh my god it’s just a joke don’t take it so seriously”

Behind the dude standing at the podium... is that a Native dude? Is he lost?

Betwixt:

that...that didn’t come from Borat? oh gosh

it’s refreshing tho, it’s not a conspiracy it’s biology to try and take over the world and crush everyone

“an unconscious vision that white people have—that their grandchildren might be a hated minority in their own country.”

Jared Taylor of American Renaissance, meanwhile, speculates that Ted Cruz will actually be better about “standing up for whites:”

Somehow the idea that she is wasted makes me like her more than usual.

damn it hillary you mentioned fiona a couple times during the live blog. i had no idea what was going on because i wasn’t watching the award show. for like 2 minutes i was frantic because i thought she was there. i was like why would she be there she wasn’t nominated for anything. why would she go to a public event…

Where is adultosaur?? Because I am at a VMA after party right this very second and stood next to T Swift as she escorted her squad to their booth. She is tall, skinny, shiny, and wasted. It looks like a fun squad to be real honest.

Man, I just realized I’d managed to live my whole life until this point without watching Fiona’s entire speech. That completed me. She’s the greatest (and not just because she’s my namesake).

I always wondered what Kanye saw in Kim, and now I know: the Kardashian evolutionary adaptation to watch someone secrete embarrassment on an international level and still wants to be seen with that person.

Hip hop is the most popular and influential genre regardless of how much the pearl clutchers hate it but we still here giving out awards to mediocre blondes like it’s 2002. *Sigh*