HOLD THE PHONE PEOPLE. When did he become unengaged (disengaged?)? This completely changes the trajectory of the fantasy life inside my warped little brain.

Because The Biggest Loser doesn't actually promote healthy weight loss.

In 5th grade, I totally wrote a rap about how much the Nazis sucked and got an A for it.

Agreed. I had no idea that "fuck off" is actually a term of endearment in Scotland.

It's not being passive aggressive so much as speaking in code so as not to offend you. Then we offer you a cup of tea.

You're absolutely right!

In order to preserve what little is left of my sanity and to not die from a rage stroke right here and now, I will limit my comment to two thoughts:

This is a very cute kid. Too bad there's an 85% chance he'll grow up to be a megadouche.

Kinda related: I heard a story this morning about Johnny Depp and how he always has a Captain Jack Sparrow costume with him when he travels. He'll put it on and drop in on children's hospitals to cheer the kids up.

I have a slightly lighter-colored version of my father's face with slightly less facial hair. Nose, jaw and cheekbones sharp enough to do surgery. Married. Boom.

Um, your use of "respectively" implies Olivia Wilde is dating Anna Kendrick & MJJ is dating Ron Linvingston... ?

I know VS is awful but, for fuck's sake, this is one of the most ill fitted bras I've ever seen. AND IT'S ON THE RUNWAY. PEOPLE CAN SEE THIS. LOTS OF PEOPLE.

Well, how else are you supposed to show a girl that you'd like her to touch it? ANSWER THAT, FEMINISTS.

Oh, well as long as they think it's abhorrent, that's ok. No need to return that money, then! All friends now!

Great catch! That is awesome!

You know, I wouldn't have guessed this based on the backlash I got for compensating my female employees with gift baskets full of marshmallow fluff and Jolly Ranchers. They're all like, "Jobs are for making money for the FUTURE!"

Seriously. And where the heck is this $100 plate venue? We got married in DC-one of the most expensive places to get married, and it was $50 a plate. With steak. And included the open bar. Those brides totally got ripped off.

I do know that in parts of the country that is is considered gauche to gift a real…

So you snicker to each other and get the fuck over it.

Controlling her opinion of whether or not he is controlling. I love that.