Me too. I had 2 pair, after much begging. I had the black checkerboard style, and then my mom got me a color-blocked turquoise and pink pair for my 12th bday. That was towards the end of 6th grade, and by then hopelessly out of style. It makes me embarrassed to think about now, because I was probably supremely…

Are you talking about Umbros? Gosh, if you didn't have a pair of Umbros in the 6th grade, you were NOONE!

Oh hellllllllll no, Toni Braxton. YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL YOUR SON'S AUTISM A PUNISHMENT. Fuck you.

Semi-related: I knew a guy who tattooed "LIMP" onto his inner lip in honor of Limp Bizkit. This was in 1996, so pre-Mook Rock/Nu Metal blow-up time. That guy was kinda drippy, but at least he was ahead of his time.

Oh no! It's hard with this age. Many are so used to constant positive feedback, they don't realize how many assholes are out there. Sorry you went through that today.

I feel this so strongly that just reading the description of your own humiliation made me tear up. Ugghhh.

Ok, that Mingey video was weirdly hilarious. Amanda Seyfried, I like your sense of humor.

My graduating class put alarm clocks in our lockers and had them go off during third period. The class before us were assholes. They put toothpaste on toilet seats, and vegetable oil and crickets in the stairwells. It was both cruel and a disgusting mess.

I miss Milli-cookies! ;) I also put in two semesters at RCC. Because I am a slacker. Anyway, as it turns out, I am also a born and bred Flatlander, but I have lived in CA for over 15 years now. The weather keeps me here. My husband, who is originally from New England, occasionally ponders moving east. I promptly tell…

Moved from IL to CA 16 years ago and never looked back. And I lived in both the metropolitan Chicagoland area AND Downstate. See ya!

Don't forget about Downstate. I lived in Decatur for 4 years. That place is an armpit year-round. People always forget about downstate.

Wait, wut?!?! THAT'S Shane Oman. I spent winter break bingeing on Homeland and never made the connection. Huh.

What? No one has a lentil ring?

At the Y???? Shit, my Y is all families and senior citizens. I see people exercising in jeans (true story). I can't imagine being judged for not matching. Sheesh.

It just never gets old. Jesus Christ!

The evil big sister in me wants to send this to my sibling, just to torture them. But I'm not that much of an asshole. Anecdotally, I have attained more education than my younger sibling, and I'm a teacher, which is somewhat of a stereotypical older sibling job.

The list is all romances. I guess the author couldn't find room for Johnny and Dally. I just showed this movie to my 8th graders, and one of the girls was all over Soda Pop. I feel good knowing that I'm introducing the youth of America to the hotness of Rob Lowe.

Look, I will not apologize for calling it guac. And it still pisses me off that they used up the last of the guac on the customer ahead of me. Assholes.

Cool story. Your bootstraps are so shiny. Do you want a cookie?

On behalf of all Sonoma County residents, I'd like to apologize. We didn't know this would happen. We just assumed Johnny Garlic's was a local Friday's rip-off.