You obviously don’t really like cheesecake if you think any size is too big.

This entertains me to no end.

Is it good enough to eat off the floor?

It is Friday night, so I’m not googling, but I believe that Illinois is both the soybean and horseradish capitol of the world. I can live without edamame, but you can have my isothiocyantes when you pry them from my cold, dead, fingers.

Matt Gaetz is done for. Good.

The narrative will keep being revised because, as Queen Mary said to the Prince of Wales in Season 1 of The Crown, “No one wants to hear from an ordinary citizen.”

Don’t forget he’s not grateful enough and how dare he be unhappy, he’s a literal prince who lives in a castle.

I think it’s got to be a real mindfuck to be told that your only purpose is to support your older brother and be required to always walk two steps behind.

That's your tax cuts at work. 

There were no shortages in Florida. Ok so maybe he was getting gas to bring to boat or for jet skis or something?

The Key Lime plane got hit by the orange plane. Smoothie.

As long as I can remember, I have been making myself ‘single serve’ chocolate cups. Cocoa powder, sweetener (sometimes sugar, sometimes stevia) milk and if I have it, cream...sometimes even infuse some butter. 

I was hoping you were making that up.

Snide H2 mileage comments aside, there really isn’t much of a story here. 20 gallons of gas in what appear to be the charred and melted remains of approved fuel containers could easily be stock-up for weekend yard work, boating excursion or many other legitimate activities.

So way down there in Citrus County, things were still humming along.

I mean, not a fan of H2's. But in general, if they don’t live in the city but out in the country that isn’t a ton of gas. When I lived in the country we would keep about that much in the garage for the tractor (for mowing the lawn, not a farm), emergency refills, that kind of thing. And if you don’t live in the city,…

Exactly. Real survivalists drive subcompact hybrids. Hummers are invalids wearing survivalist costumes.

The governor declared a state of emergency.  

A joke, because those snacks are awesomer when dipped in chocolate.

I read a book about old school baking and found that lower gluten flour + time = vastly superior bread. When there’s no time for that style then I go to the bread flour and stand mixer but now, when there’s nothing but time, I call my biga my boo and we Netflix and chill until she’s ready to get hot.