My mom tried to run me over with her car at Christmas and I have only spoken to her once since then. And somehow I feel like the piece of shit in this whole situation.

Go away Jack Dickey

Generally speaking, police don’t like to announce the name of a suspect until they’re getting close to making an arrest to avoid smearing the reputation of a potentially innocent person or scaring that person into hiding, so if they do have a suspect, they wouldn’t say publicly. In fact, Collins might even be a…

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Career Grand Slam winner Andre Agassi.

Hey folks, I totally messed up! So we have two DUANs. Ummmm ... maybe two is better than one?

I’d have no trouble drafting La’el. I mean, our yellow sun’s radiation must make him one hell of a lineman.

That’s not how any of that works, that’s not how any of that works at all!

I don't think you know how slander works.

I KNEW IT

Super rude.

An elective humorectomy can be a dangerous procedure, you were really brave to tough it out!

That being said, on the souls of my grandkids, nothing will happen to Lebron...yet

It’s good to see you stay calm.

It’s clear that Bayern Munich has an issue with physical and mental conditioning. Those players who do not match the physical criterion laid out by Munich should be demoted and sent away for reassessment. Some sort of camp where they can work and contemplate, united in suffering toward a common goal. And heck, they…

The (now-deleted) pre-block tweet in question:

Come now, it’s not fair to judge so soon after—OH MY GOOD LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD

It took me a few minutes to figure out the error, such is the power of Dionne Miller’s mouth.

They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.