I often say that the only reasons I'd run are from a murderer or toward beer.

You realize this means the Cleveland Indians are the best run professional franchise in town, right?

But it does keep up the Cleveland Browns tradition of having no Lombardis in their organization.

Lombardi's announcement confuses me most of all, as I'm not seeing any organization in Cleveland anywhere.

Duly noted. I left a lot to the imagination here. So, let me clarify.

That's how you think it works ? A police source leaked it? I'm a journalist it's not like the movies. Also if the person who called 911 said that there was a needle in the arm it will go across all the scanners and paging services that media outlets subscribe to. Soooo not that salacious after all.

He was heartbreaking in that role.

Somewhere in Russia, a single tear runs down Edward Snowden's face.

Let's go ahead and just let the March for Life participants in on the one truth out of this whole debate between pro-choice and pro-life folks, which is that even if you outlawed abortion in every state, you will still never stop them from happening. Women will continue to get pregnant whether they meant to or not.…

The fact is, she's abortion-free unless of course you count her entire career.

"Think of my wife," he said. "Think of my kid."

I misread the last paragraph as "baklava-clad arachno-feminists"

Will this do?

Sarah Jessica Parker says there might be "one last chapter to tell" of Sex and the City. [E!]

I would rather just not eat cheese than eat low-fat cheese. And I eat more cheese than a cartoon mouse.

No. Low fat cheese is horrifying.

That's just uncalled for.

But wait I thought he was a pimple-faced loooooooooser!!

Mine too. There was absolutely no way I was making people pay for drinks at my wedding.

Bbbbbut the Battle of Helm's Deep! The Ents! Gandalf the White! Gandalf riding that giant golden eagle thingy!