When my estranged grandfather passed my mother spent months playing wack-a-mole with his many bank accounts in many different sketchy banks. It took threats of calling the FDIC to get the last one to cash out at which point I told her if she start getting paranoid and forgetful in her old age, to start burying her…

Well I was just going to say "FANCY PANTS SUPER HARRY POTTER LAND" but if you want me to be all accurate and shit. Jeez.

The way I see it, the Biebs is a societal dirty bomb. You lob him over the Maple Curtain and you've just declared unrestricted warfare on 'Murica. He's one nation's way of saying "I will end you" to another. There's really no coming back from that.

Look, we agreed to keep Justin Bieber because of Canada's "you break it, you bought it policy", but Piers was already broken when the fed ex guy dropped him off. Return that shit to sender.

YOU MADE HIM, YOU KEEP HIM. DEAL WITH IT.

I am an Agnostic because of Sunday School. As soon as they said "School on Sunday" I was like:

If I was more crafty, I'd make a yard sign saying "Put the Sol back in Solstice"

Was just listening to this story on Kojo Nnamdi (local NPR show in the DMV) and two things to note:

I live in Harlem, the home of the ATLAH church.

I know a guy...

I just tried the new Starbucks Ebola Fappuccino and, as a straight male, I have to say it was better than the salted caramel one.

Those sodomites better be free range. I'm a conscientious consumer.

Holy shit! My GF and I used to live in New Jersey, had a KFC up the block. Every time we went there they were out of chicken! Made me want to yell into the mic "Then, why are you still here? You sold all the chicken, you can go home now! Mission accomplished!"

This whole thing is so nutty (is that from the semen, too?). He seems so confused on a multitude of issues.

I think conqueeracy is more inclusive.

Also, major points to whichever writer or editor at Pink News chose their lead image, because that's fantastic.

What the...

"Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you're having a good time."

Semen flavours...and makes you thinks you're having a good time."