That’s all the hot sauce my campus cafeteria had. :( No taco sauce, no red hot, nothing.

The villain in that storyline is a serious babe tho.

Only the funniest posts on The Toast!

Also, they never seem to understand that puberty is a years long process. You’re not at peak reproductive fitness when you have your first period, and pregnant minors suffer birth complications at higher rates than adults.

And Honey Boo Boo.

The Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger is great. A hilarious and immersive steampunk fantasy with lots of cheeky romance.

Iowa libraries’ OverDrive repository is AMAZING. I read an audiobook and a Kindle book per week, and I haven’t stepped foot in a physical library in ages. I think libraries are adapting okay.

Is anyone else grossed out by Usher’s heinous neckbeard?

At least it’s good for Dear Prudence with Mallory Ortberg, queen of The Toast.

Best Clickventure is either Which One of My Garbage Sons Are You? or You’re The World’s Most Successful Pickup Artist. Can You Have Sex With The President Of The United States? Genius.

At least The Stache isn’t a frothing Tea Party nutcase. Just your standard sour-faced Ag-hag butthole.

Don’t! I am uncomfortable about how much I like that jacket and am struggling with the fact that Ted looks better in that than a giant trench. What I’m saying is, it’s a good jacket if it makes him look even okay.

Right? Ellie claims it’s baby food for adult women, but here’s the thing: I WOULD BUY THE FUCK OUT OF THAT. If my entire caloric intake could be pureed and eaten with a spoon, I would be in heaven. A lot of food textures really skeeve me out and trigger my gag reflex, so yogurt is my BFF.

I would try reddit. /r/babybumps is allegedly pretty sane and supportive.

I wish I could move there, period. But I’m already married and work in a not-in-short-supply profession. :(

One of mine is Dave Franco, and one of his is Allison Brie, so fourway!

More like Beelzeboob, amirite?

True story. I follow literally dozens of basset hounds.

I can smell my boss’s old lady perfume (AKA THE WORST) from down the hall. It lingers for a couple minutes if she stops by my desk too. Save me!

How about A-law-ska?