"I thought Mike Brown must have lost a big match"

I've been pretty lucky. I've only been been involved in one sting. I guess I was going to have to pay all that child support eventually.

The West Virginia Police actually arrested the couple having sex for failing to provide proof of kinship.

"I thought I was just auditioning for a controversial episode of DeGrassi"

@bevraj of choice: +1

At least he died doing what he loved: hemorrhaging internally

This story really is a-negative. I know it's hard, but his family will have to b-positive

He wasn't hurt, he was just telling us his favorite Cannibal Corpse tunes.

Does Comcast carry HGH? I already miss too many games on the NFL Network.

A gynecologist or a dentist? I'm just wondering who will fix the inevitable damage to Crosby's vagina dentata

DAMN THESE MESSICAN BEER KOOZIES TAKIN ALL THE JOBS FROM THE WHITE BEER KOOZIES

2010 NC State Baseball: A new Jenner-ation of Manley players

These Philly fans should be commended for showing restraint. They could have put sugar in his gas tank, when it's common knowledge that Boone's car has type-1 diabetes!

Still, this was less crushing than her 3rd place finish at Westminster.

He'd make a fine addition to the Scarsdale Globetrotters.

Any advice for recent Job Corps graduates?

New Zealand's version of Thunder Down Under needs some polishing.

Oh, geez. How can I put this gently? I guess the best way to say it would be "I wouldn't mind seeing a video of Dave Bliss being decapitated by Middle Eastern insurgents"

@MattMillenFanClub: God, I'm so sick of hearing about Betty White.

The ball should cross the line exactly 0.5m below crossbar and 0.5m inside either post.