Between playing softball and dating Paul, Victoria is milliseconds away from being jowl deep in Marla Hooch's pussy.

"Can't wait" were Ron Goldman's dying words

When you retire from surfing, you spend your remaining days working a high-stress executive job.

+1

"I was worried about having to spend the night protecting assholes"

Cubs fans will find a way to blame Dusty Baker for this.

"My celebrity crush? Princess Diana"

"I was third all-time in assists, but I have to give this assist to Colonel Sanders"

The Lil Jon and LMFAO song "Shots" is actually about non-alcoholic tequila

Not watch the celebrity all-star game? Are you implying that that's even an option?

African Americans were slightly confused by the choice of musical entertainment during the festivities of "Black Flag Day"

City's name is Creedmore? All their schools muts be for the hearing impaired.

Whenever an NFL owner is complying with the Rooney Rule, he sends out a mass email titled "Strictly 4 My Niggaz"

@pribian: You're on fire

There's this other funny parody video on youtube called...wait for it: "The Evolution of Pants"!

For some reason, that picture just made me want to watch Schindler's List

This never would have happened under commissioner Tagliaboobs

@Phintastic: +1

These guys wouldn't fuck with UVA's intergender heavyweight champ

hopefully he'll stick around until 2015 when they beat Miami in the Series