If I’m paying 31 million buckaroos for my wedding, it must include Idris Elba interrupting the proceedings, declaring his everlasting love for me and marrying me on the spot while David Bowie sings “Life on Mars.” For starters.

a ten-foot wedding cake shaped like a carousel that’s rumored to have taken a month to assemble.

I loved discovering that Drake dances like me when I’m alone in my living room.

Happy Birthday, Koko, and many happy returns.

That gorilla told that human to put a kitten on her head and that human listened. And I got to see it! This has been a good day.

Bernie is basically america’s favorite hoody. A little worn out, totally worn in, too old to care about appearances, and an intrinsic statement on income inequality.

the way he is sitting in his chair is like how i sit in a chair when i’m really drunk and watching my football team lose

There’s a home video of me driving around in my Fred Flintstone car (I don’t know what you call it, it but it’s the red and yellow toy car that every kid from the 80’s had) and I’m starting to go down a hill and then I’m toppling over ass over apple cart. I should mention that there was a lake at the bottom of this…

In case you can’t see the pic of Penelope getting hit by a car (it’s not showing up on my computer), here it is and it is fantastic. If this were my kid, I’d get this whole succession of pics framed. Bottom Left is priceless. What a cutie pie.

I got dumped pretty spectacularly, once. My ex-boyfriend’s birthday was four days later. I agonized very briefly over whether I should call him, or send a card, or something, to wish him a happy birthday, but ultimately decided not to.

You make a pretty excellent point.

“Hey, parents who lost kids to guns, and you other communists who care about that, what you don’t understand is that your kid’s death was something that happened to YOU, while the possibility of me losing my gun is something that would happen to ME. So. Big difference.”

I have an inexplicable affection for him too. He seems fame hungry and judgmental to me as well, but like, he also once bought and used a fancy man’s cane for no real reason and how do I dislike someone who does that?

it’s okay, grandma.

Caleb loved history but now he’s history- is it bad that this made me lol?

what constitutes a popular family youtube channel