Cheer up. You probably always make the short list.

I never get picked for anything.......

Wow, that’s embarrassing, thank you.

FIFY.

“I get-the best pussy.”

Look, if they were good enough for Grandpa then why the hell not wear it now.

Barber: What do you want?

That would be pretty cool hat though.

couldn’t happen to a better organization.  

I bet he bought that coat at Paul Manafort's garage sale.

Maybe he should try curling.  

There’s nothing I can say here that isn’t blindingly obvious; if Wiggins used “gay” as a slur, it’s wrong, and if he didn’t, it’s nothing.

Winning is not the Browns way.

I’m honestly surprised the Browns didn’t keep him on. Not that he deserved it, but I would have thought that the handful of wins would have made them so lightheaded that they would hire him almost as a reflex. As it stands, the Browns will lure Rex/ob Ryan (with mayonnaise) or hire the guy who paints the lines on the…

Highest winning percentage for a Browns HC in 11 years, still gets fired.

“Several teams specifically told me that they would keep my resume on file, so there’s clearly interest.”

maybe that first bronze statue of him was more representative of who he is on the inside and we just didn’t know it yet

I’m more impressed that Kingsbury did all that at USC after getting hired after the season was over.

Are we all really taking the stance that unsolicited kissing/fondling of the breasts without prior consent would be okay if she was a confirmed adult? Because I’m over 40, and will punch you in the fucking face—if not lower.

It’s like those discount baskets of bread you find at the supermarket. Sure, you’re getting a deal, but then the baguette calls you a pussy and you realize why it was so easy to acquire.