I created a burner just so I can post this, but it won't post and whatever. I'm not ashamed.

Who here still wears a watch??? It’s not that weird for someone youngish to be wearing a watch, is it?

“I promise I won’t share.”

If you look behind Will Ferrel, you can see Gwen and Gavin sitting in the next row.

“Highest praise to men who actually want their kids.” OH YES GOOD JOB YOU DESERVE ALL THE PRAISE FOR “ACTUALLY WANTING” YOUR KID AUUUGHHHH I HAVE NO PATIENCE TODAY.

But they didn’t fly nonstop. The couple allegedly landed in Las Vegas for a little thing I like to call...a layover.

Unpopular opinion: I think he’s still really handsome AND an excellent actor

“Kelly Osborne marries Mexican house cleaner! Quoted as saying, ‘see racist people don’t marry Mexicans!’ Zendaya serves as bridesmaid, Giuliana’s invitation lost in mail.”

I laughed so hard reading that. I honestly hope it's true.

I lost my burner key a couple of days ago, but it was kind of worth it to snag this new name.

How are this many people so new to the internet? And how did they end up on Kitchenette as their Orientation Day site?!

As long as Blake gets custody of Adam Levine, you’ll be fine Miranda.

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

Writer/lawyer Andrew Vaccess wrote a fantastic article about the language people use when discussing abuse, and he talks about the term “child prostitute” vs the term “prostituted child.”

I hope no one is surprised: Most offenders are victims of a crime before they enter the criminal justice system. We criminalize certain kinds of victimhood and certain kinds of poverty.

HOW IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY ARRESTING A TEENAGER FOR FUCKING PROSTITUTION? Oh! You can’t legally have sex, but you can definitely be held responsible for older creep show fucking abusive weirdos paying you for sex you CANNOT LEGALLY FUCKING HAVE?

I would love for your sister to stage a comeback as well!

OMG, randilyn, I was dressed and brushed my teeth and started to leave the house and realized I had not one, but two (twooooooo) flat tires and I only had one spare. So, I though that I would change one tire and ride on one flat, and I did that, but I broke off the 4th nail on my left hand during the process and it…