I bet if you put this on the outside of your emergency room, "clamp and sew you up just enough to keep you alive, then call someone else to refine my work," you'd have a lot more free time.

Any person would probably say, "you're missing a noun unless the University claimed she was raped."

You're doing the lord's work here, Graby. Thank you.

Wow. What a pompous asshole. I was a cocky jerk at 25 too. Not quite this caliber and more localized cockiness towards those around me. I was dumb and young. Now, not quite 10 years later, I would be MORTIFIED to have written something like this when I was 25. This guy appears to believe he is on the way up (this…

But you also need to add in millions of dollars (at least for Drake, Rihanna, and Chris). Money plus stupid immaturity gets you no place, but I also think they could be a lot worse. See: Amanda Bynes, Justin Bieber, Shia LaBeouf, etc.

What's the protocol on armpit sweat?

After seeing who was on the selection committee, I agree with Luzy. This woman is definitely anti-Christian:

So Sasha and Malia become teenagers and suddenly all the hotties are out. I knew this was Obama's fault somehow. #hormonesontherise #cantcontrolhisowndaughters #lostmyvcardinthelincolnbedroom

Good lord, even their dog is attractive.

Be interesting to see how the employees of each airline would rate working for their company.

There's always someone in the group that wants to put someone who is doing well down, and you, HamsterMcCrabbypants, are that person right now. Try being nice for a change, you'll be surprised at how much more people like you.

I think this was the original intent as most of the #crimingwhilewhite posts I saw early last night all said things like, "I pushed a cop and wasn't shot or even arrested." I don't think the people were bragging as much as trying to show the disparity. I think looking at the #crimingwhilewhite tweets alongside the…

Well, Don Lemon is all knowing.

I haven't tried it yet as I'm trying to move from the town I live in and didn't see a reason to start, but I've heard good things from other people. Maybe have a friend or family member check out your profile and provide some constructive criticism. Good luck!

"Your child should have rules for 'toy' guns that mirror the rules of a real weapon."

Hey St. Louis PD - Maybe don't hire trigger happy assholes who were previously fired from their last law enforcement job for being incompetent.

You want to see who the system works for, check out #crimingwhilewhite Pretty eye opening.

"Why is this happening to me???"

And you're fucking Nicholas Cage!! Imagine if you were a regular person who hadn't starred in National Treasure!

My favorite is when people say, "Well, I don't like bars and clubs. How else am I supposed to meet a woman?!"