I friggin’ love Lizzo. I love that writes lyrics, according to her, in the voice of a BFF giving her friend a badass pep talk after a breakup. It works like gangbusters, all her songs are music to strut by. The world needs more Lizzo.

“I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% That Bitch”.  I love Lizzo.

I know the Kim K angle gets more clicks, but this part of the interview really got me:

I’m wearing mine to egg the houses of men who’ve hurt me. 

I was inspired by her campaign as were many she won the goddamn popular vote. She shouldn't run again because it will just be a repeat and she has sense. No need to shit on her work. 

Woah, wait a minute.   What about Salt and Vinegar?  S&V is peak potato chip, it doesn’t get better.

I know I am middle-aged because if I had found myself at this event I would have grabbed handfuls of produce, stuffed them down my pants, and made for the exit. Free limes and garlic, and the garlic is already PEELED?

You’re entitled to a seat. That’s all you get. You aren’t entitled to police your fellow passengers or pick and choose who else gets on the plane.

I would much prefer the parents of 3-13 year olds to march onto a plane wearing a sandwich board that reads “I’m aware of my responsibility to make sure my child does not kick your seat, throw food, or otherwise disturb you. Please let me know if I’m failing” 

fixed the headline for you.

First, the author left out the reason that the good Dr thought it could be from the diet, but not just this diet, frankly any diet that puts your body in Ketosis.

My wife and I eat keto and we smell amazing all the time, my bloodwork is so good the doctors thought I cheated, and my penis grew an inch longer. 

Ok. But high carb diets possibly lead to yeast infections. I’ll take a bit of off smell instead of an off smell and an unbearable itch.

My husband and I eat keto and there haven’t been any complaints. On the other hand, I feel great and all of my bloodwork is stellar so I’ll go without the pasta, myself.

Cleaning advice for men: Lol, do some laundry and you’ll get laid

One time I found my rare and beloved brand of sleep pants at Marshalls...just one time but it made me keep checking back...you never know. I finally concluded that they were probably mine, left there in changing room or something...since they were never to be found in real stores again.

This analogy is perfect.  It is also why I get a weekly update from my mother on whether or not I need to go this week.  She scouts, I shop (she also does this for all Goodwill’s in our area, Tuesday Morning (if you don’t have them you are missing out on an ongoing treasure hunt) and all closing businesses. 

I got beautiful all-black Timbos there for $80 a couple weekends ago and I pretty much haven’t taken them off my feet since.  Total possum moment!

I once had an amazing, almost life-changing creme brulee at a restaurant that no longer exists. It was so good that I almost had to close my eyes while eating it. Since then, I almost always will try a creme brulee if it’s on the menu because I will gladly suffer through 99 bad creme brulees (and most are truly mediocr…

I have found shoes at Marshall’s that had no business being there and that is why I love Marshall’s. I check Marshall’s now the way my dog always checks the back left corner of our backyard fence: once there was a possum there, any day there might be another.